Wednesday 11 November 2015

There Are Non-religious Ceremonies for All Occasions!

There are as many different kinds of ceremonies as there are different kinds of people. Whether you are looking for a celebrant for an engagement, a wedding or a renewal of vows, or for a baby naming or a coming of age, or for a funeral or a memorial, each ceremony will be entirely unique because I will work with you to create exactly the kind of celebration you want. 

Ceremonies can take place wherever you feel most comfortable - I have conducted weddings in fields, beautiful barns and halls, on farms and even in people's homes. Likewise, there have been many delightful baby namings in village halls and pubs, garden centres, as well as the family sitting room. 

A funeral or a memorial doesn't always have to have a crematorium or a burial ground as its focus, though for many people this may be just what they want. Some of the most nourishing and thoughtful celebrations of people's lives have been in quite unusual spaces - a narrow boat on one occasion and more recently in the family home with the family pets and food and music and candlelight. 

Each ceremony is unique because each person is unique.

I trained with the British Humanist Association and have been working as an accredited celebrant now since 2011. Our initial meeting is always crucial. This is where I get to know you and you get to know me. 
There are no rules. My job is to find out what works best for you. If you don't know, I shall probably ask you lots of questions to help you find out what you would like. I can also give you advice, of course, and I have a marvellous store of poems and readings and examples of vows and to share with you to inspire you.

When I'm not working as a celebrant, I am often running poetry workshops in care homes and schools. I also do storytelling for children and adults at festivals, so I am used to bringing creativity and imagination to an occasion. There is nothing to say you can't have storytelling as part of a ceremony. I remember one man telling the most wonderful story at the funeral of his aunt. It was really quite beautiful.

People's lives are important and full of meaning. Each ceremony is a kind of reckoning - 'We have come this far in our lives and this is where we are now' 'This is a new life and these are our hopes and dreams and promises' 'This is your life complete and this is how I will always remember you'. Whether we celebrate with family and friends, or celebrate widely (and wildly sometimes!) with many people, or whether we celebrate quietly with one or two people, we are making a statement about something we care very much much about. We are very often affirming our love and thinking about our way forward.

Here are some of the things people have said:


"Thank you for the lovely service you conducted for us. So many family and friends have been in contact to say how relaxed and enjoyable it was, and we completely agree! We even have a couple of friends who will be having their own Naming Day ceremonies as they thought ours was so lovely. Thank you again."


"Thank you very much for being our celebrant! It’s been a great experience, especially talking to you about our relationship and what marriage means to us. It was lovely to have that reflected in our own personalised ceremony. Exactly what we wanted and more!"


"Thank you again for making this wonderful day happen. It would not have been the same without your expert handling of nervous brides and your amazing talent at crafting images and words."
 "A few words of most inadequate gratitude for your wonderful ceremony and all the help you gave us to organise our big day. None of our guests knew what to expect, but we have had so many compliments on your performance, on the touching and individual words, the absolutely foolproof handfasting and your skill at making everyone welcome and relaxed. We were in a real daze throughout but have been reliving the day through the unofficial photos and our guests' thank you notes. It looks like a good time was had by all."
"Thank you so much for your email with the presentation. I don’t know how we can ever thank you enough for all your help, guidance and support through what has been a really emotional time.  For me personally during the ceremony you were just the support I needed.  When I looked across at you, it was like looking at a friend who was there to give me the courage to be able to say my piece.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Lots of people who had never experienced that type of ceremony were full of praise even down to a few saying that it was exactly what they would want. Mum would have loved all the lovely stories and memories and the fact that so many people were there to say their goodbyes.Once again thank you for everything."
"My dad would like to express his sincere thanks for such a beautiful service that you gave yesterday for P.  Everything was just how we had hoped… The hard work starts now to start another chapter in Dad’s life, which with the help from my brothers and myself will hopefully be OK. Our family have all decided that we will definitely have a humanist funeral – very uplifting and a celebration of life.  I’m sure Dad’s neighbours thought there was a wedding going on as we all gathered outside in our colourful clothes. They had a shock when the hearse came round the corner.  Little things like that make you smile. Our close family on our side came back to my house where we raised our glass to P on a beautiful sunny day. We continued with some hilarious shenanigans to the point of tears and belly hugging laughs.  We will always be talking about…the day of P’s funeral."
"Thank you very much for the wonderful ceremony – it was just perfect! Everyone commented on how personal and well-written it was. You were just fab to work with – thanks for making it so special!"
"We didn’t get much of a chance to speak with you after the ceremony but thanks again for doing such a great job for us both in the build up and at Oxford itself.  Not only did we enjoy the whole day enormously ourselves, we’ve had lots of lovely feedback about the ceremony and your role in it.  Thanks too for the transcript which we received a few days ago."



And yes, I will do pets' funerals. As an animal lover myself, I know only too well the need to mark the end of a long and special kind of friendship.

As I said right at the beginning, there are non-religious ceremonies for all occasions -

      coming out
                                adoption
                                                            divorce and reaffirmation of friendship

      renewals of vows
                                             finding a birth parent or sibling
                                                               

Email me - thepatwinslow@gmail.com

Or give me a call - 07857 273695

I work all over Oxfordshire and neighbouring counties and I am willing to travel some distance too, if that's what you need. I'll even consider going abroad.